Steph and Dick had thanked the Amazon cook for bringing down breakfast and had been waiting for her to leave. The amazon seemed to want to preen her vinyl French Maid dress while they ate.
“Thank you,” Barbara dismissed the Amazon as she entered the medical area.
“I thought she would never leave,” Dick breathed, “talk about being a subtle stalker…”
“You know,” Steph said, “You are probably the first guy she has seen since the classical Greek era.”
Dick looked down sheepishly. Steph turned to Barbara as flashed her a knowing smile, Barbara tried to keep a straight face. Then all three sensed it.
“Yeah,” Steph whispered.
Barbara pulled a Stungun from a cabinet and tossed it to Dick then Steph went to the entrance to the medical area while Barbara kept going to search the cave.
A few minutes passed and then in walked a slightly curvier Selina Kyle in a weird Catwoman suit. It was skin tight black except for a loose stand up collar off her neck, black gloves with claws, a gold chainmail belt, black ankle booties with short spike heels and her hair pulled back over a cat-ear hair band. While it was silent, she still smelled like a rubber band.
“New kind of rubber suit?” Dick asked.
“Hybrid that the nerds developed to maximize resources,” Selina smiled as she sat down, “Susan Richards is one of our best partners now by the way…”
Selina took Steph’s seat next to Dick and smiled at him with that ‘I know something you don’t’ smile she used right before Bruce and Dick would walk into one of her traps.
“Steph is in the trunk of a Batmobile isn’t she,” Dick asked flatly.
“What?” Selina put a clawed hand on her chest in a mockery of hurt feelings at the accusation, “Nah, stuffed her in the sample isolation closet. It’s sound proof. So we have a few minutes to talk before your warden comes back with my distraction.”
“So what brings you here? Joining my body guard team?” Dick asked.
Selina snickered.
“Is that what they told you?” Selina asked, “I came to talk to my business partners. I now represent about half of the Wayne estate. I am sure you got briefed on owning the house.”
“Yeah, so is that what you wear to the office all day?” Dick pointed to the catsuit, “I heard it is a ladies’ world out there, but ah…”
“No,” Selina shook her head, “We got a team of competent MBAs running Wayne Enterprises like Fox use to. I am not here to be a naughty nurse, sexy prison guard or any of those fantasies either… This just happens to be the favorite outfit…”
“Naughty nurse? Sexy Prison guard?” Dick asked.
“Dick, I never thought of you as a son…” Selina smiled, “But you are disappointing me. First of all, you are ‘the last man on Earth’ for all intents and purposes. I am sure you have already seen a selection of the best young, attractive and fertile women they have lined up to surround you all day, every day. Now even if I wanted to be one of fuck buddies, I can’t. I wouldn’t submit myself to the kind mind fuck regardless. No, I spend most of my days at home or breaking into sealed secured facilities for the new world order.”
“What?” Dick started to asked.
“MOMMY!” a girl screamed, “Aunty Babs found me!”
Dick looked over at the little girl on Barbara’s shoulder. She was dressed in leopard print catsuit with kitty ears and riding boots. Dick looked closer at her. She was Selina’s daughter and she had Bruce’s eyes.
“Kitten, say hi to Uncle Dick,” Selina smiled.
“Hi Aunty Dick!” the girl shouted.
“No Helen,” Selina said, “Uncle Dick. He is your co-owner of the Company down stairs.”
“The down stairs company?” Helen asked, “What’s an Unkle?”
“I’m…” Dick stopped realizing he didn’t have an easy answer.
“Uncle Dick is my husband,” Barbara said, “Like on the old TV shows. He also was a brother to your father. So that makes you his niece and he is your uncle.”
“I thought all of the boys went away,” Helen said.
“They were very sick,” Selina said, “Dick got better so he came back. But he isn’t completely better so he has to stay at home here.”
“Maybe she can come visit one day,” Helen said, “I have a cool window in my room!”
Dick looked at Selina.
“Corner of the Penthouse,” Selina smiled, “It’s the one that doubles as a TV.”
“I hate you,” Steph said to Selina as she walked back into the medical area, “Hi-yah kiddo!”
“Stephie!” Helen shouted at the sight of the blonde.
“Here take her,” Barbara forced herself to smile, “I need a word with Selina in private.”
*
His entire entourage escorted him from the cave to what was formerly the Thomas and Martha bedroom. On the way up, Selina’s words resonated in Dick’s head as every woman turned out to see him, and each was bimboed up. The bedroom had been cleared out and redone with what was left of Dick’s stuff from his room and stuff from Barbara’s clock tower penthouse.
“A lot of stuff was moved into Bruce’s room,” Raven explained, “It was agreed that that would be a memorial room for the guys. This is your room now, each of us have rooms here on the top floor and there is a team taking over Alfred’s job so we have 24-hour staff coverage.”
“Thanks Rea,” Dick said, “Where is Barbara?”
Barbara had disappeared from the rest of the superheroines when they started moving him into the bed. Dick had been able to stand with help, but not walk yet.
“Don’t worry about that,” Doreen chittered, “She’ll be back with you shortly.”
All around the blinds were closed and candles lit by the girls as they retreated out of the room leaving Dick by himself.
As if in a horror film, the door to the dressing room creeped open. The figure that crept into the bed room filled Dick with lust. Barbara was dressed in what had to be Batgirl Bridal lingerie. Dick looked her up; White knee high fuck me boots, white stockings, garter straps, no panties, a white leather merry widow with a yellow bat under the bust, white armpit long bat gloves, and a white bat cowl.
“I think it is long past time for you to officially make me Mrs Richard Grayson!” Barbara said with a seductive smirk.
“I think I need some priests,” Dick said in a deadpan tone, “My wife has been possessed by sex demons!”
“Let me show you just how bad it is!” Barbara strutted over to the bed, “Remember that time Selina handcuffed us together?”
“Yeah I was one cod piece away from getting locked up for sexual assault,” Dick confessed.
Barbara pulled out sets of hand and leg cuffs, two pairs each.
“No cod piece this time,” Barbara kissed Dick.