Alfred’s decision seemed to be made for him as Tim turned a corner and walked towards him with his phone in hand talking on it. A smile crossed Alfred’s face.
“Master Tim,” Alfred said, “Who are you talking to?”
“Kara,” Tim covered the mic.
“Please let me speak with her,” the wheels in Alfred’s head started turning.
“Sure,” Tim agreed instantly, “Hold on Kara, Alfred wants to talk to you.”
“Miss Kara,” Alfred spoke with a smile in his voice, “To which address should I send your invitation to the Wayne Wedding? Nonsense of course you are invited. Should I include provisions for a date or for general guests? I am sure Tim would love to dance with you. Ah, very well I will send an invitation right away.”
Alfred handed the phone back to Tim and then whispered in his ear.
“When you are finished sweet talking your desired date please find me in the study,” Alfred said calmly, “I should like to talk to you about your other dates for the wedding.”
Alfred went to the study and filled out an invitation for Miss Kara Danver, Alias Kara Zor-L.
*
“So what kind of sexy fun-der-wear does Brucie like?” Harley asked in the back of the hired car.
“Harley,” Zatanna started, “Mind if I call you Harley?”
“No problems Zee,” Harley shot back.
“Harley, Bruce is a guy, which means he thinks Lingerie is wrapping paper,” Zatanna shrugged, “No matter how pretty it is, the goal is to get you out of it and get inside of you as quickly as possible.”
“Yeah, but some works better than others,” Selina said with a smile, “And I know all of Bruce’s buttons.”
“Did all of you realize you were Bi before talking to Alfred?” Zatanna asked?
“I was raised on an island of all women,” Diana said, “When I came to the world of men I did go a little boy crazy, but I always enjoy the pleasures of the flesh with both men and women.”
“There were plenty of nights Holly and I couldn’t get any Johns’ so we spent them together,” Selina said, “And there were plenty of times we were hired to play with Janes or couples looking to make it a threesome.”
“The Lab accident,” Pam rolled her eyes for a second and then looked at Zatanna again before continuing, “That was what brought out my desires for women as well as men.”
“I experimented in college,” Harley giggled, “Turns out a lot of them old stuffy shirt feminist professors just needed to get eaten out.”
“What about you?” Selina asked Zatanna.
“I…” She murmured.
Harley grabbed Zatanna and pulled her across her lap and gave her a French kiss.
*
Tim knocked and then came in. Alfred looked up at him and smiled. Tim took the seat across from the table Alfred was working at.
“Master Tim,” Alfred started with that fatherly tone, “There are going to be changes in the house with Master Bruce’s impending wedding. I don’t want you to make the same mistakes as Master Bruce did. I am sure that you will find the bachelor lifestyle to be a good cover for your nocturnal activities. However, I am sure you are familiar with all of the headaches that Master Bruce has created for himself by stringing along random ladies.”
“Yeah,” Tim held back the laughter, “No shit.”
Alfred Frowned at Tim. Tim straightened himself out.
“You have contacts with the plenty of young attractive ladies in your community,” Alfred said, “Perhaps you should make relationships with them. It would behoove you to forge open relationships with multiple young ladies to ensure you gather the right attention from paparazzi. If I might, Miss Brown, Miss Cain, Miss Sandmark and Miss Danvers are suitable young ladies to make appearances with. You would be required to publicly show affection.”
“Yeah,” Tim said, “Sure beats trying to ditch a drunk bimbo at the first sign of Penguin crashing the party.”
“Who knows,” Alfred said, “With time and familiarity, you might find them to a suitable partner for a long term relationship.”
“I think that’s pretty smart,” Tim agreed, “Maybe we can even stage some drama for TMZ and such. Take Cass to dinner and have Kara show up and yell at me, then two nights later Kara goes on a date with Cassie and me. Get caught kissing Steph when a car door opens.”
“I will be sure to purchase a larger bed for your room,” Alfred smiled.